There is a balm...

I spent a couple of hours at one of my schools tonight for parent conferences. Expecting to have some time on my hands, I took piano music to practice for my church job. I took a choir director/pianist position at College Avenue Congregational Church in Modesto about seven weeks ago and am really enjoying it so much! The choir is upbeat and funny and they are adults, which is a nice change from my day job!

During my two hours at the school, I spoke with four parents. There was plenty of time for me to practice my offertories, preludes, and postludes. If you read my blog, you probably know that I’m a bit discouraged these days...I am able to suck it up and paint on a smile most of the time, but, truly I’m crying on the inside quite a lot and what used to be a creative spark is just a faint glowing memory of that past oomph.

While waiting for parents tonight, I played through a book of gospel arrangements by Mark Hayes and came to one of my favorite hymns, There Is A Balm In Gilead. I love the text of this hymn:

There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin sick soul.

Some times I feel discouraged,
And think my life’s in vain,
But then the Holy Spirit
Revives my soul again.

There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin sick soul.

My day job continues to be a challenge and on top of that it seems that many people are taking it upon themselves to comment on and vote about the future of my life. It pains me deeply. Even people within my own family are disconnected enough from reality to use the power of their vote to bring harm to me and my family, those whom I hold most dear. I wrestle with that in my mind and just can’t come to grips with it...obviously there’s a lesson here for me but I can’t seem to find out what it is. I am discouraged and I do question whether my life is in vain...about now’s the time for that reviving part...

Come, Holy Spirit, I need thee.
Come, Sweet Spirit, I pray.
Come in Thy strength and Thy power,
Come, in Thine own special way.