You can't buy people's love OR their loyalty!

I have spent my life trying to be good enough, polite enough, talented enough, self-denying enough, religious enough, concerned enough, and you-name-it enough in an effort to "buy" the love and loyalty of those people sharing the space of my life. This has been an entirely unconscious process until about 14 months ago. That's when I first came to the understanding that the love, appreciation, and loyalty of the people around me cannot be bought, no matter how effectively I attempt to meet their needs. This was a tough realization for me and took some deliberate reflecting to process...at the time, it kind of knocked my feet out from under me since I was forced to try and find another manner of relating to those people in my life.

Why then, do I find myself learning this exact same lesson again?! When will I learn? Am I deemed to fall back into this same damned trap over and over again? Everyone else in my life does what is best for them FIRST and their most-diligent concern is about protecting themselves most of the time. It really doesn't matter the sacrifices I have made on their behalf...their job is to look out for their best interests. I must adopt this view of life and assure that my needs are being met and that I am in a healthy place before I galavant off to solve the problems of my little world. I hope that there's a way for me to look out for my own best interests and STILL do kind things for those people around me...if not, I'm gonna really, really struggle with implimenting this lesson!

Anyway, be warned...I've re-realized this truth and it might hurt a little bit.