When did "different" become "wrong?"

I like to acknowledge the birthdays of the students in my classes; I imagine there's at least one student I see each day that, for one reason or another, spends their entire birthday without anyone at school knowing about it. Maybe they're shy or maybe they don't have close enough friends around them that know when their big day is. It would be sad for that to happen, so I have the students fill out a survey to tell me their birth date, then that information goes on my calendar. I am reminded when those birthdays fall and I have the class sing to them and, if it's their 16th birthday, make certain (by asking them publicly, of course) that they aren't "16 and have never been kissed." Oh the joy of watching them squirm for a second before they realize that I'm kidding and don't expect an answer. It's just one of my little pleasures in life to see that short inner question as they ask themselves, "...does he really expect me to answer that?!" It adds a little frivolity to the day and we can be sure that any student singing with me isn't forgotten on their special day.

All is well, unless I have a student who is of a faith that doesn't celebrate birthdays. Students of this faith also are limited in their ability to sing holiday and some religious music. I need to know who those students are, so I use the birthday issue as a way to invite those students to make themselves known to me.

That happened on Wednesday during class. Upon my invitation to tell me if their religious beliefs prevent them from celebrating birthdays, one very sweet student came to me and identified herself. We stepped into my office to talk and I asked her how she would like to handle holiday and religious music; I prefer it if the student will allow me to use this as an opportunity to teach the class about religious tolerance by saying something like, "...we support each other's religious beliefs and there is a student in our class who's faith doesn't permit them to sing some holiday songs. When we rehearse some music, they are going to sit down or step into my office and I want you to support them and allow it to be okay. We are a big group of students who celebrates a diversity of beliefs and it is my expectation that we will all support each other. If you have questions or concerns about this, my door is always open."

I have learned so much from my students of faiths different from mine and, just as I want people to respect my belief system even if they disagree with it, it is entirely reasonable for me to respect theirs.

Tonight, I received a short e-mail of thanks from that student for showing her that I respect her religious choice. It is sad to me that any student would need to "thank" their teacher for showing appropriate consideration to something so personal as their religious beliefs and it's sad, also, that our society is so quick to judge things that are "different" as being "wrong." I wonder when we'll learn that not everybody likes to eat Mexican food as their favorite (that's mine) or thinks that a fresh-brewed iced tea trumps anything else to drink on the planet (mine, again) or believes that the color green is prettier than all other colors (you guessed it, mine) or that our Biblical interpretation is the only way to read that important book. We should all just affirm each other's favorite "whatevers" and hold each other up, rather than tear each other down. We do this very well in most areas of our lives but, when it comes to religious tolerance, most of us fail miserably and I wish we would just all grow up and get over ourselves. The world is a beautiful place when we celebrate the diversity amongst us and that beautiful diversity extends to issues of faith just the same. We can disagree with another person's choice, but I don't understand why we can't celebrate it as their unique expression just the same. "Different" is just that: Different and, in my book, it's okay.